This just in from the moderators of my local FreeCycle group . . . . I hope this person recovers from their Freecycle hangover.
[The text of the question is excerpted from mail we received from a real, live FreecycleSeattle member last week.]
Dear FreecycleAbby:
I made my first four offers today on FreecycleSeattle. Some of what I
experienced after that:
* Folks responding immediately to my OFFER just to be the FIRST, but
clearly not thinking about whether they really wanted what I was
offering – or even if it was possible for them to pick it up.
* Emails asking me questions that were already clearly answered in
my OFFERED posting.
* More than one person emailed with no mention of which item they
were interested in – in either the subject or the body of their
message.
* Another person actually asked me to ship the item to him…out-of-
state.
* At least one email lecturing (actually, berating) me about how
I “advertised” and “sold” my items. (Honestly, I did my best and I
think my posts show effort. And this being Freecycle, I didn’t think
I was advertising or selling anything.)
* And LOTS of people for whom the words “please” or “thank you”
don’t seem to be part of the English language. I don’t expect someone
to bow and scrape before me. But I didn’t really expect to be given
lots of orders and demands in response to my OFFER, either.I started today feeling good that I was doing something positive. I
ended the day in not the best of moods.signed, Cheerless in (Freecycle)Seattle
Dear Cheerless:
My, my, you try to do something good for the other people and for the
planet, and look what happens. Not only are some people ungrateful,
but they’re downright rude in the bargain. Wouldn’t it be nice if you
could wave a magic wand and make all the thoughtless, impolite,
greedy, and generally clueless people go away, and just give your
stuff to the few who seem to remember that you’re offering a gift
that they should show just a teensy bit of gratitude for?
Well, you know what? You can.
You have an extraordinary power – as does everyone else here, though
they all seem to keep forgetting about it. And that power is this:
when you make an OFFER, *you* get to choose who gets it. You and only
you. You _don’t_ have to pick the person who’s first to reply after
your offer’s posted, or the one who’s the most insistent. You can
wait and see all of what comes into your Inbox for as long as you
want to, and then *you* get to choose one of them to take your OFFER.
And you don’t need to justify your decision to anyone but yourself.
Fabby herself usually lets a day or so pass after her Offer: goes out
to see who answers, and then picks the person who asked for the thing
the most politely. Or sometime’s it’s the one who had the best and
funniest story about why they needed it, or who turns out to be
located in the same neighborhood as she is. Very often this _isn’t_
the first person who replies, which is a nice benefit: not everyone
can be hovering at their computers 24×7, and Fabby thinks even people
with dialup Internet connections who check their email only once a
day (gasp!) or participate via the sort-of-Daily Digest should have
an equal shot at getting stuff generously offered here. There’s no
rule that people with the gigabit broadband cable feeds and RedBull-
enhanced fingers should get first dibs on everything, you know.
And so what can you do about the others who respond, especially the
ones you encountered who seem to have gotten report cards
saying “doesn’t play well with others”? Well, it gets even better.
You can simply delete each and every email you get from them without
replying. Bzzzt, thank you for playing, but no cookware set for this
guest today, Johnny. The beauty of it is that once you post a TAKEN
notice, you’re done – it serves as a blanket answer to *everyone*
else who emailed you, so you don’t have to do anything more.
Perhaps after a few dozen times of the same thing happening and being
told “it’s taken” even though they know they responded 20
milliseconds after the posting hit their mailbox, some people *might*
start to think a little bit…maybe there’s more to being part of
this community than how fast they can click on the “send” button?
That maybe whatever it was their mother told them – you know, about
being polite and courteous to others and thankful for gifts they get –
might actually be good to remember?
No, you’re right, probably not. But it’s nice to imagine, isn’t it?
Yours in reuse,
FreeycleAbby (aka “Fabby”)
(PS: By the way, you don’t have to respond back to the *nice* people
who email you but didn’t get your item, either: the TAKEN does the
work for you there as well. Though of course you’re welcome to send
them an email with your regrets if you want to, or save their
addresses just in case the first taker doesn’t make it. Again, you’re
the OFFERer, so it’s all your choice.)