Remember this, if you ever meet me. I’m afraid of you. I’m afraid I won’t live up to your expectations, I’m afraid you’ll think I’m ugly, I’m afraid I’ll look like a nerd or do something inappropriate and you’ll disapprove of me. If I act aloof it’s because I don’t have the inner strength to risk being rejected that day, not because I don’t care about you as a human being.
Maybe if I had experimented with pharmaceuticals like Mr Shipley alludes to having done, I would have realized this as well. But, while things are not quite as dire as his description, it never really goes away.