This makes about halfway.
Reckter added, “The risks to us are great, but our enjoyment of our own experience would be devalued by knowing how these men are living. But how we can both shield ourselves from discovery and lead them out of their self-imposed captivity is something we have tried to resolve without success. We had hoped you would be able to suggest something.”
“Me? Why me? Until you brought me here and I could see things from this perspective, I was no better than they are. I was also hoping for something to free me from the endless beck and call of the world. I have had some success in the past, which is why I am here as a free man, not a bonded one, and that may explain my willingness to put up with it. I have made a pile and would like to do it again, whether I need it or not. But these others know nothing of that. So far as I know, they think I am in similar straits, and I have seen no reason to disabuse them of that. I am not so different from them. How can I help change their minds if I don’t necessarily disagree with their choices?”
There was no answer. Both Reckter and Erst looked at me but I could tell they were communicating and the intensity of it showed on their faces. Their expressions never changed, they were being careful not to let slip any judgment of what I had said. Anatha and the boy had left the room when I finished speaking, and I wondered if they had been dismissed.
It became plain that there was an argument, heated and passionate, though silent, between these two. I had no idea what it was about or who was on what side, but if I had to guess I would say it was over whether I was worth the effort it took to recruit me to help them. I couldn’t guess who would take what side, so perhaps that wasn’t it. If Therian were here, he would have demanded they speak their minds. But I had no such power.
The argument was over suddenly. Their faces relaxed and Erst’s hands were shaking as he took a drink. Reckter looked very tired, his posture beyond relaxed, his breathing slow, his eyes half-shut.
“I apologize. We needed to discuss what you said and, rude that it may be, it is more expedient than asking to excuse us.
“Let me see if I understand you. You do not find these men at fault or feel that they exercise poor judgment. You understand and sympathize with their way of life. And you do not see any reason to help them find a more meaningful existence, or a life instead of a mere existence. No offense to Therian, but I find their mode of life bestial.
“Perhaps we misjudged you.”
His face was hard and unyielding as he finished speaking. He was plainly angry and somehow disappointed, as if I had somehow failed to meet his expectations. That in turn had an effect on me.
“You misjudged me? Who gives you the right to judge at all? You made the decision to trick me, a free man, from my work, my life — think of it what you like — and bring me here to this place and now you seek to recruit me to convince the people I left behind to give up their livelihoods, the only dreams they have, because you don’t approve?
“Do I understand you correctly?”
I glared at the old man’s now-surprised expression, knowing that he could read my thoughts but hoping for his sake he was not. It would not have improved matters to know exactly what I thought of him or what I could envision doing to him.
Reckter tried to smooth things over as best he could, but diplomacy was not one of his strengths, and his obvious allegiance didn’t help. I didn’t expect him to see things from any perspective but that of his leader, but his frustration was palpable.
“Perhaps this is a mistake. Perhaps there is nothing I can do to help you, and you have squandered much of the esteem in which your people hold by bringing me here. It’s not clear that’s the case, but for the moment it seems so.
“I think I need to know more about this barrier, since that is what this is really about. If you could convince these grubby treasure-hunters to take up some other way of life, some other means of making their fortunes, your barrier would remain undetected and your worries ended.
“This has very little to do with the enlightened consciousness of those miners, and everything to do with what one of them may do with a misplaced explosive charge, namely bridge the two worlds and have your unspoilt paradise overrun with them.”
I didn’t need an agreement from them. It was clear to me this was a self-defense strategy. And I didn’t blame them at all. I would have been and might still be happy to help but I didn’t like the circumlocutions and hand-wringing about the poor benighted souls, toiling underground.
The silence lasted a long time, possibly minutes. I could not tell if they were communicating but I didn’t care. I was finding all this talking around their fears to be tedious. I had been initially sympathetic. They were so different and their world so much more appealing than what I was used to, I couldn’t help myself. If I had been given the choice between living here or returning to the dusty, violent world of failed mines and dry holes, I would have opted to stay.
I trusted these people more after a day than some of the others I had worked alongside for weeks or months. The absence of competition or more precisely, the presence of abundance, couldn’t help but ease the pressures and lighten the spirits of everyone. I hadn’t seen anyone here who had that hunted look, who was counting the days before they had some thing to show for their efforts, who could entertain ending their life rather than admit defeat and pay the agreed penalty.
But I had to wonder what else was being hidden from me. I could hide so little from them, but I worried less about it. I had no ulterior motives or secrets to conceal. The looks on both their faces, the shock and bewilderment, was a surprise to me. I couldn’t tell if they were surprised at their own thoughts, if they had not realized how frightened they were, or if they were surprised I had managed to work it out. If the former, I didn’t know what to make of that. Was this a consequence of not speaking aloud and letting others poke at your position, of living within your own mind?
Resisting the urge to laugh aloud, I thought about some disagreements I had witnessed in the field or in one of the taverns, and the frank exchanges of idea that had resulted. After one, I recall there were only one or two tables undamaged and no chairs. Some glasses and a few lamps were also rendered unusable. But there was no doubt about anyone’s position on the issues at hand.
“Well? What have you to say to that? Are your fears in control here or is it your benevolence toward those troglodytes?”
Another lengthy pause, but Reckter broke the silence. “If you think us fearful, you are welcome to. We have much to fear and if you cannot understand that, we did choose the wrong person to help us.”
His fists were clenched, his knuckles white as he went on. “There is more here than you comprehend, and the impact of a disturbance here would be felt far from here, even to the cities on the coast. We fear those men and their hunger for wealth, their willingness to destroy, to uproot, to undo what they don’t understand.”
He glared at Erst who had shot a sidelong glance at him. “No, I will not be silent any longer. Keeping secrets and playing games with someone’s compassion will not be of any use to us now. We must be honest if we are to get the help we seek.”
Erst was looking angry and confused by turns. Plainly he was unused to being rebuffed, and certainly in speech, with anyone to hear it. I expect it was less painful for him to have this happen with an outsider, but still he had not expected it.
“Alright, Angstrom. You have made it clear we are going about this dishonestly. We have not been honest with you and for that, I apologize. We have not had occasion to seek help in living memory, nor in any written account. We lack the experience of someone like you who has dwelt with and work with many types of people in different places. We are inward-looking, and insular in our understanding of the world. There was a time when we moved freely between the worlds but that was long ago and we have lost much by it.”